Evil Green Mist, coming to a neighborhood near you!

19 03 2012

Lowe’s has been doing a great job with their new(ish) marketing campaign recently.  They have ridiculously catchy hipster music (“Don’t Stop, Doin’ what-cha doing” is often sung in our house) and a slight variance in each commercial to appeal to different personalities.  Case in point, my MIL saw the “Coloring Book” commercial and like it so much that she told me about it, and she actually remembered who the commercial was for (not the easiest task).

However, one commercial just seems to freak people out.  The Fresh Cut Grass Commercial:

I didn’t think too much of this commercial. I just figured it wasn’t directed at me (I hate yard work (probably because it was a punishment when I was a child – “Just go pick up sticks in the yard!)).  I did think the green mist (fog, scent, visual gas leak?) was a little weird and reminiscent of the evil green mist in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader Butchering that Hollywood put out.

Green Mist is not normally a comforting sight

However, my focus group friends all hated this commercial with a fiery passion that I usually reserve for pickles.

The biggest complaint was the mystery green fog:  It looks like poison, it’s kidnapping people, why does it have the power to change their clothes? Is it just pot fumes and that’s why they are excited about yard work?  It just looks evil.  Who likes the smell of fresh-cut grass? (allergy sufferer’s words)

The best response: How early is that jerk neighbor mowing the lawn!?


Worst Tagline Ever.

7 05 2010

Where?  Where were the focus groups?  Where was the slightest faction of logical oversight?  Why Charmin?  WHY?

When I saw this at the end of the normally creepy bears in the woods commercial last night, I freaked out.  Just a little bit, because Charmin has crossed a new line of inappropriate animal defecation by leaps and bounds in what was already an ad campaign that has long worn out its welcome.

But then today, I went to their website to do some blog research and behold I was greeted by this monstrosity.

The “Sit or Squat” site.*

Charmin, have you no decency?

*PS, now the creepiest thing ever:  The sit or squat site has a community section who’s purpose is only for people who want to talk with strangers about toilets:

Visit the Community
The community at SitOrSquat is designed to give people a place to interact with anything that has to do with bathrooms. Check out the selection including News, Blogs, Forums and Humor.